These amazing words:
CHANGE
EXPANSION
CELEBRATE
TRANSITION
These along with patience, have been constant words in my life recently. As the series of posts about grief, a flow on has been life changing decisions being made, which incorporate the energy of these words.
I’ve been in a universal classroom called: Patience, accepting and embracing change. I’ll give the staff running the lessons 10/10. I’ll give the ease of the lessons an extremely challenging level.
Change is hard for everyone. It is additionally hard for kids. Add in ADHD, PDA, Autism, and Anxiety, change takes on a whole new dimension of overwhelm. Our change is not small and is on top of massive change. Don’t go small and dull they say. Ok, embracing large and bright. To truly enjoy the colours we also need to see and love the dark.
2022 has been the dark night of the soul for many. How my family are processing the darkness and how I support my clients – clients and family same same to me.
❤ I honour the emotion that is flowing. Absolutely this is confronting when the emotions are challenging. When I need to stop, breath and just be; that is exactly what I do. When creativity, motivation and high vibe is flowing, I carry out my to-do list.
❤What I apply to me, I apply to my parenting. Therefore I honour what is happening for my kids. I don’t try and fix it or change it. This is hard for parents, we wish our kids to happy all the time. This is doing our kids a disservice. Putting love first and seeing and allowing ALL of who they are, and what they are experiencing brings security and confidence.
How I do this is by listening and keeping curious eyes and heart open. I don’t correct them. I don’t push them to see the positives or ways to be grateful. I explore with them their feelings, emotions and thoughts. If you’ve read my socials, you’d know we call the anxious voice within Fred. We explore how Fred is trying to keep us safe, the tactics Fred is using (creativity, making things big, etc) and how they’d like to move forward with the input of Fred (what to keep, what to change and what to throw away).
❤Once we’ve heard and expressed it all, then we can move into the creative solution phrase. This includes the pleasant aspects, the things we are grateful for and honouring the complexity of holding two opposing emotions, feelings and ideas. For example: excited about our move and sad about moving. Loving thinking about all the new things that are awaiting for us and being overwhelmed by all the change that is about to happen, some of which is known and some unknown.
❤ I’ve personally be playing with words to alter my mindset and outlook on life. You may know, I make clients swap out ‘attention’ or ‘connection’: They are just seeking attention, vs They are seeking connection. The thoughts, emotions and energy we bring to our interactions with our kids dramatically changes by swapping out one word. I’ve been playing within myself, and with clients, swapping out words that aren’t working for us anymore:
o Procrastination to space/breathe/taking calm (when we are in overwhelm, feel stuck, or lost or immense pressure)
o Certainty to curiosity/creativity/choice (especially when I’m seeking certainty from uncertainty)
o I should be to I am making my self loving choice (plus listening to my intuition and that inner voice – my universal class has taught me when I don’t, the guides step in with gusto)
What are your words and what are you swapping them for?